Jewish Wedding a Second Time Around
A Conservative Perspective by Rivka C. Berman

Ceremonies for a second marriage (third, or fourth etc.) are identical to first marriages, in its ritualistic sense. Many, however, curtail the size of reception, and their wedding attire usually conforms with the fashions and etiquette of the time.

Widows and Widowers
Jewish law requires a widow to wait out 90 days to be certain of the originator of an undetected pregnancy. A woman who is post-menstrual or cannot possibly be pregnant may be permitted to marry earlier on. Men wait for three festivals to pass before marrying again.

Divorcees
A man or woman may remarry as soon as they have obtained a Jewish divorce or get, though a three-months waiting period is usually required of the women, depending on circumstance. We recommend that you ask your rabbi.

In the Conservative Movement, a Get is granted only after a civil decree has been obtained.

According to halacha, remarrying a former wife is permitted if she hadn’t married another person in the interim.

Children Attending a Parent’s Wedding
Tradition kept children from attending a parent’s remarriage ceremony. Deference to the other parent’s honor is the reason, but these days, many believe that it is emotionally more sound for a child to attend and be part of the wedding party.  Aside from the generic wedding honors, a child may be chosen to help hold the Chuppah aloft.

Dates
Talk with a rabbi. Less restrictions are placed on second wedding dates than on a first wedding.

Where to Hold a Second Marriage Ceremony
Marriage ceremonies model many aspects of God’s presentation of the Ten Commandments to the Jewish people, because this is when God married the Jewish People to their special destiny. Following this archetype, second ceremonies are often held indoors just as the second set of the Ten Commandments were given privately forty days after the sin of the Golden Calf.

Second Wedding Attire
Nothing appears to be in Jewish tradition against a bride wearing white in a second wedding. Societal norms may influence a bride to choose otherwise.

Ketubah Differences
Before investing in a ketubah, be sure it is written for a second marriage. As a Jewish legal document, cross outs are not permitted on the ketubah making it difficult to adapt a first-marriage ketubah for a second marriage. Some ketubot are written with fill-in blanks for this reason. Another option is a handwritten, completely personalized ketubah.